surgery closed in child shock

A GP surgery in Norwich was closed yesterday after three of its four partners were found to be children.

Doctors Claridge, Martin, and Singh were discovered following an investigation into the recent death of a patient. The doctors are all only eight years old and were said to have met at a mutual friend’s birthday party. Their employment in the surgery has raised questions about the stringency of NHS application procedures.

“We still aren’t sure how this happened,” explained Dr. Pasty, lead partner and the man who appointed the three children to post. “Their documents seemed to be in order and their applications were very impressive.” When asked about their size, voices and inexperience in the field, Dr. Pasty stated simply that “I didn’t like to ask. I assumed they were just baby-faced, and it was hardly my place to judge. Their professionalism was phenomenal.”

Patient’s suspicions were aroused by a variety of the doctors’ methods, but seemed mostly to accept any anomalous behaviour as a part of modern NHS treatment. Reports mutter that Dr. Martin would often ask his patients to close their eyes while he hid somewhere within the room, refusing to begin the consultation until they had found him. They would also prescribe a variety of unorthodox treatments suggestive of their legitimate ages, such as “flying saucers”, “sweets generally” and “chasing girls with live invertebrates”.

Dr. Claridge’s parents were asked how their son had managed to initiate a career as an untrained doctor without their knowledge. “He came home one day and told us he had a job,” burped Mr Claridge, his father. “We thought it sounded unusual but were very proud of him.”

Although the doctors have been banned from medical practice for about twenty years, they have been invited to tour Britain by helicopter. The tour had sold out before it was even announced.